That pulling deep inside your heart and gut that tells you something important is missing. A light in your world has turned off and you are left to navigate your life in this darkness… You must move on seamlessly, as if you never knew the joy, the love, the sheer pleasure that once was and that is no more. I am racked with remorse, anguish, despair. You see, I have lost my favorite pair of sunglasses.
I was shopping. I was in at least 5 stores and a taco place! They could have been left among the frames at Aaron Brothers, or in the shoe racks at Nordstrom Rack, or in the personal hygiene department at Target! Maybe the counter at Poquito Mas? I was everywhere on this ill-fated day, and there was no way to retrieve them once I noticed my lovely dark gold leather case with the GUCCI name embossed in gold, was empty.
“‘Tis Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
I miss them so. They were casual and dressy, chic and classy, and they went with everything. These weren’t just my sunglasses. We were friends who went everywhere together. My sunglass destiny. Gucci for god’s sake! The ones with the bamboo accent hardware on the delicate tortoise leg. The ones with the very tiny Gucci signature on the lens that was barely noticeable. Only those familiar with the fabulous Gucci bamboo collection or with an eye for fine and fabulous accessories would recognize as couture eyewear… Yes, some fortunate soul found those glasses while I’m left in the grief of their absence.
In their memory, I play this…
“Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind. Smiles we gave to one another, of the way we were…” Sing it Babs! Barbara knows what I’m talking about.
I keep having flashbacks of all the good times we had together. Sigh. So much laughter…. We went on that cruise; we shopped in Mexico, San Francisco, all over the South Bay and the Westside. We had a blast in Las Vegas together…
Below we are in one of the last photos we took together. It was a lovely seaside day in Ensenada. The photo was taken by Juanita- the tour guide/ Mexican transplant, who was deported back to Mexico from Long Beach actually! Small world, but I digress…
With those glasses I was a person of importance. Women and men moved out of the way for me. Judging by my fabulous taste in eyewear, they surely thought I must be some “it” girl from LA. I could totally see them thinking, “Who is that?” They nervously wondered, “Maybe I should get her autograph?” Of course I was too intimidating to approach, but still…
The thing is, they weren’t just sunglasses. They were more like tools. Much like Wonder Woman, who if you recall had accessories with super powers, I draw powers from my accessories as well.
Remember her cuff bracelets that deflected bullets, and her gold tiara that worked like a boomerang? She would throw it and it would dutifully help her get the bad guys so she could catch them and tie ‘em up with her golden lasso. Well, my now departed shades were similarly helpful. I mean, they never tripped the bad guys or anything, but after a long night of party rocking, they certainly served me. I loved how they would hide my bloodshot, “I didn’t get no sleep” eyes, in that Mary Kate and Ashley chic disguise that is nearly impossible to attain without the right frame, the right face or right high-end specs.
I suppose I could use my back up pair, but they leave me feeling hollow…
I have so much running thru my head now. Who could have found them? Will they have a good home? Whose face will those gorgeous tortoise frames adorn next? Will she have a strong enough nose to pull off those chic oversized lenses? Or worse! Were they found by some 17-year-old stock boy who will carelessly heap them into his pile of recyclable cardboard?! Gasp! I’m worried.
Kim Jong Ill knows what I’m talking about… Well, he would if he was alive…
How could I have been so careless? Was I in such a hurry that I did not notice my constant companion all lovely and expensive, sitting there on the goddamn shelf or rack or wherever the hell I left them?!
Where will they sleep without their luxurious case? Will their new owner just toss them in her pleather tote she bought from one of those awful kiosk vendors at the mall, thereby scratching the lovely exquisite lenses that have only been cleaned with the Gucci embossed cloth they came with??? sigh. I hate myself.
“Don’t grieve. Everything you lose comes back to you in another form…” ~ Rumi
I’ve been listening to a lot of Adele again. Morrissey, Bruno Mars. You know, the usual singers who comfort me in my hour of need, but I’m still in a funk. I’ve just added Al Green to my “I remember you Gucci” playlist. I’m hoping that the Rev. can calm my angst, affliction, heartbreak.
As you know, I never experience heartache without finding the valuable lesson that surely comes with every crushing disappointment experienced. I see this loss as a lesson in staying present. I must slow down. I have to be more conscientious in everything I do. Another hard learned lesson that hurts, but surely makes me stronger.
I will say this. I always appreciated those gorgeous glasses. Every time I wore them I loved them. I hope the next owner is grateful and takes care of them the way I didn’t. Or, if they ended up in some dumpster or landfill, I hope those guys know, they will be replaced, but never forgotten.
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start…